Build Your Own

I spend

My nights dreaming, and my days recognizing that my dreams can never be. Its that time between being awake and asleep that are the hardest. Its in those moments that overlap that tease me with such near possibility. They ask why not me? Why not us? Why can’t we be?
Those moments don’t know the pain they cause. Not that I could tell them. If I did, I fear, they might want to do me a favor and never exist again. That would be tragic. I would be left alone with knowing the difference between dreams and life but not having the hope that one day the two should meet.

I am always

Far too many steps behind
In that spot where just upon
the edge of sight it rests
less than my vision but more
than my pace can ever
commiserate. Oh but it tries
to the point of breaking into
a run I could never sustain
at least not for ever as long
as I could keep my eyes
upon the ends.

So I always

go on tumblr before work cause there’s definitely a bunch of NSFW stuff coming down my dashboard. And I always mean to only go on for like 5 minutes to see whats up, and I usually wind up staying on for 5 minutes past when I’m supposed to already be gone for work.

Damn you tumblr

Last days

My last day playing with my band is tomorrow. One last show and then I’m gone and they’re doing whatever they’re going to do.

I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. Wanting different things, moving in different directions. Hopefully it’ll mean more writing though.

For now though, its time for Planet Terror.

I tend to

Post on days I have dreams.
Last night I was on some kind of isolated tropical island. I was there with my family, which is strange as I don’t spend much time with them. We went to a movie together, which we used to do a lot. Then the world started to end. When everything fell apart, Jake Gyllenhaal came back and told the girl he had been trying to convince to love him that he couldn’t stay and be with her because he had to get on a boat and actually save the world. Then he left. I’m pretty sure that bit was the movie. Everyone started to leave and I got turned around and my family got a little ahead of me. I kept following them, then I saw this girl, who looked exactly like a girl I had a crush on in high school, but who in the dream I decided was her little sister. I asked her if she was this girl’s little sister and she said “No, and I’m pretty sure if I was, she wouldn’t want you to bother me.” Then I looked around, as I had now exited the theater, and my family was way far ahead of me, I ran and caught up with them. They all had these sample ice cream dishes. There wasn’t any for me. We got back to the hotel and that was that.
Here’s to waking up not happy.